The Journey of Surrender by Pastor Karena Lout

Todd and I felt God leading us to move to Missouri early in our marriage. It was a big decision and the first time I realized I needed Him to guide and lead me. I was 20 years old, Josiah was a newborn and I had only known Jesus for a few years. I knew Him as Savior because He rescued me from a really dark pit, but I wasn’t familiar with Him as Lord. I had taken care of myself for so long that putting my trust in someone who wanted to lead me was foreign. Control felt easier than trust because it had this false illusion of protection. It’s been a journey to learn to surrender my heart and my life to Jesus over the years. It’s been scary at times but also a huge relief to know I don’t have to do it all on my own.   David may have understood the importance of knowing God as Lord and King because he was a shepherd himself. I’ve been reading Psalm 139:23-24 in the Passion Translation almost every day lately:

“God, I invite your searching gaze into my heart. Examine me through and through; find out everything that may be hidden within me. Put me to the test and sift through all my anxious cares. See if there is any path of pain I’m walking on, and lead me back to your glorious, everlasting ways- the path that brings me back to you.”

What kind of vulnerability and courage does it take to open your heart completely to God like that? In order to invite that kind of leadership in your life, it’s vital that we know the true nature and heart of God. If we don’t know His nature, we can’t be certain how He will use His power. Jesus never uses His power to control or injure us. He uses His power to heal, to love and to make all things work together for our good. We may not fully understand His ways, but when we know His heart for us, surrendering becomes much more inviting.   For a long time I felt like I never measured up so if I received correction, I’d crumble. But as Jesus began to heal me, I started to invite people to speak into my life. I knew I had blind spots and my pain wasn’t always allowing me to see myself or situations clearly. Self-sufficiency is an enemy to growth. We were never meant to live in isolation. When you’re part of a healthy family, you quickly find out that you’re no longer living just for yourself and that what you do matters and impacts those around you.   Give yourself grace. Trust takes time. Surrendering areas of your life and your heart that still feel “in process” doesn’t happen overnight. It’s okay to have questions. In fact, they can be just as important as the answers you’ve already gotten. I pray for courage as you grow in trusting God and those you’re in close relationship with. Even though there aren’t any short cuts to learning to surrender, the journey is going to be so worth it.                                                                                                                   Love, Karena