Learning to Belong - Jen Bentley BF guest contributor and Pastor Susan Fochler

The women of Blazing Fire church recently experienced a wonderful time of gathering together to enjoy one another on a weekend retreat in the beautiful Santa Cruz mountains.  For some women this kind of event feels natural and easy, but for many it triggers feelings of deep insecurity about how to connect and be with each other. I so appreciated what Jen Bentley shared regarding her growth in this area of family and belonging.  She shares her process of coming to believe she has worth and value, both to other people as well as to God.  Jen says so eloquently what many of us have thought as we navigate the nuances of connection and relationship:

Hiding in Shame I grew up not having people I could trust with my deep self.  I had enough experiences of rejection and hurt to know that staying hidden was the best way to avoid pain and the ugly truth that I believed: that I was boring, stupid and really not much fun.  Shame would wash over me if I answered a question wrong, or got teased...the shame was so painful, I avoided it at all costs.  This may sound overwhelming, but life did go on for me and I found ways to be happy, make the best of it, manage to live on the outside even with this deep shame on the inside. Learning to Receive It has been during the past 4 or 5 years that God has been wooing me, drawing me out, inviting me in to embrace truths about myself I never knew were possible. I began to listen for His voice and He said the sweetest, most loving and intimate things about me...it was embarrassing at first!  From the first few interactions with Pastors Russ and Brent, I felt that they were seeing something in me I never saw in myself... I felt that they really saw me and knew me. I was welcomed into this culture of love, acceptance, and truth-telling. I really began to agree with the truth about me: that I am loving, insightful, kind, and fun!  I Belong! This culture we have is like none I have ever experienced. I was invited in from the beginning and celebrated for who I was, not what I could do or how I could perform. Believing I could be accepted just being has seeped into my soul slowly these past 4 years. I have been taking steps, slowly coming out of hiding. I realized this last weekend at our Women's retreat. I found myself happily doing things that used to be frightening... like walking up to a table full of women and sitting down, making conversation with ease and not feeling as if I was imposing or not wanted. I like this confident, courageous Jen that is slowly making her way to the surface. This is what it feels like to belong, to be seen and loved and accepted with all my weirdness and awkwardness. To know that I am unique, like no other, and cherished for that. This is what our Blazing Fire culture invites, cherishes and celebrates...the beauty and uniqueness of you.  Jen Bentley

Belonging is for All of Us Like Jen, we are all invited in.  In Christ we have stepped out of the Kingdom of this world, where we are orphans, and into the Kingdom of Heaven where we are chosen sons and daughters.  Let these words from Ephesians wash over you with the profound truth of what your Father in Heaven has to say about you:  “And he chose us to be his very own, joining us to Himself even before he laid the foundation of the universe!  Because of the great love, He ordained us as one with Christ from the beginning, so that we would be seen as holy in His eyes with an unstained innocence.  For it was always in His perfect plan to adopt us as His delightful children, so that His tremendous grace that cascades over us would bring him glory--for the same love He has for His Beloved One, Jesus, He has for us!”   Eph 1:4-6 The Passion Translation Love, Susan Fochler