Men, Husbands and Fathers - Russ Fochler by Russ Fochler

Looking back on my days as a young man, I was vaguely aware of missing something important when it came to relating with women and children. Now, after years of walking with other men through their own disconnects with wives and children, I know I wasn’t the only one. And, I believe this is one reason why so many men avoid marriage and avoid caring for children.

As men, many of us absorbed the message that a “man” shouldn't need help and shouldn't ask for help. So, if we do have a family, we may try to bluff or bluster our way through family issues. Or we may just retreat and try to avoid being involved in meaningful ways with our wives and/or children.
But Jesus offers us a better way.

Isaiah 61 is a life chapter for me. It is about the beautiful work of Jesus. In Luke 4, Jesus reads from Isaiah 61 to publicly announce His ministry. He is bringing good news to the poor, binding up the brokenhearted (all of us in some form or another), declaring freedom for the captives and prisoners. And He gives us a beautiful turban, the oil of gladness, and a mantle of praise. Jesus is establishing us like strong oaks.

And then.....

And then we get to turn around and be part of the healing of Father God’s family. We get to be ministers of reconciliation with Father God. We get to actively repair the ruined cities and the desolations of many generations (Is 61:4 - NKJV). We respond to the New Testament Elijah call to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and hearts of the children to their fathers. (Mal 4:6).

We are empowered (as we ask Father God for help) to stop repeating the destructive, abusive, disconnecting, co-dependent, relationship-crushing ways that have felt like “normal” in our family lines. And to establish a new “normal” of life lived with Jesus.

In my talk last Saturday, I shared clips of Danny Silk’s Your “Normal” talk from his Defining The Relationship series. Until a revelation was given to his wife Sheri in a Sozo, Danny could not see how he was the source of much of the painful dynamics in his marriage. I’ve “been there” myself. While it took Danny and Sheri about 13 ½ years of marriage to see what the issue was, it took me 17 years of marriage to finally acknowledge my destructive behaviors - the ones that I firmly defended as “normal” up until then.

Jesus, we gratefully receive all You provide to heal our hearts and set us free. We embrace this “new normal” of having the capacity with You in us - to love and bless our families. And we join You in the glorious work of restoring the desolations of many generations.

Grateful for being in this family with you,

Russ

Freedom by Misha Quezada - Blazing Fire Overseer Team

Tonight I got home late after a looong day. It was about 11pm and I was very excited to crawl into bed. As I unlock the downstairs door to my dorm hallway I think I see a small bird at the other end of the hall trying to get out. I quickly go back outside and go around the building to open the door. Inside I see a small paper moving around and assume I was tired and obviously am now seeing things, but after almost reaching the door to the staircase I see the little bird flying straight for me! The next 45 minutes are spent frustratingly trying to free the bird. It must have been there for a while because it was having trouble flying for the extent of the hallway. Back and forth it went, letting me at times get close but then quickly hopping or flying away. I eventually used my purse to prop open a door, and got it out the door. Just as I felt victorious and was reaching to close the door, the silly bird turned around and flew back in! About 30 minutes in, I felt God giving me nudges, asking if anything about the situation felt familiar. I watched as the bird went back and forth, struggling as it reached the door, but not being able to get out. I often find myself feeling like that bird. I see where I want to go, or emotionally feel where I want to be. It’s in site, but I keep sensing walls in my way. God is there trying to help me get out, in His loving gentle way, racing in whichever direction I head, opening the door for me. I have trouble trusting that He knows the way; that He isn’t there to sweep me in the wrong direction. I start to head to where He points, but then second guess it and turn in the other direction. Sometimes I even get right to the edge of it, as if standing at the edge of a cliff, ready to take the leap, but my own fears or lies get in the way of seeing the truth. The story has a good ending though….The bird finally made it out! I gently closed the door behind it, thinking it was over but I returned a few minutes later seeing it still hopping around outside the doorway. Sometimes we make it out of our situation, but don’t know what to do next. It’s uncomfortable to step into something new. A bigger, freer world can be intimidating, and we don’t believe we are totally out. God told me to go outside and watch. The bird sat there flying, but returning. Then suddenly I felt my heart leap as I watched it fly high to the top of the building, turn, and fly away toward some trees. God is calling us into breakthrough. He knows what we’ve been longing for, the freedom we desire. It has felt like a struggle for many, feeling like you can’t trust what’s on your heart, like you’re going to be stuck in the place you’re at forever. You may even be mad at yourself, seeing that you had a chance or s moment where you felt out of it, but now you find yourself feeling as though nothing changed, like you’re right back where you are. I hear God saying FREEDOM!!!! The door is wide open, He is standing there, beckoning you out. He is a loving, patient Father, who is willing to stand there for however long it takes. Your wings are ready, the door is open, so turn around and feel the wind beneath your wings!!!

Choosing To Belong by Pastor Brent Lokker

When I was in 8th grade, I wanted to be accepted by the guys on the basketball team.  During lunch period one day early in the school year, I sat down at the table where they were eating and collectively, as one, they got up and left the moment I sat down.  Now that hurt!  Of course, I found other friends to hang out with over the course of the year, but that one stung for a while.  But do you know what’s even worse?  The very next year I was part of a group who did the very same thing in rejecting a boy named Ernie, someone we suddenly thought we were too cool to hang out with.   I’m happy to say that through the miracle of Facebook, I was able to get in touch with Ernie as an adult and ask for his forgiveness, which he readily gave to me, and we caught up on each other’s lives. We all have a deep, deep need to belong, but it’s no wonder with experiences such as these that we’ve all encountered in one way or another we’re a bit gun-shy when it comes to opening up ourselves to others in our relationships.  Will we be accepted or will this be another painful experience to endure? God is the Father of all (Ephesians 3:14-15) and it’s His dream for us as His children to love one another deeply as a family.  He’s not going to change His dream! He first loves and accepts us completely and then gives us the courage to learn how to live that way with each other.  He’s going to help us do this! Let’s face it, genuine love and commitment is risky because it involves opening up our hearts to one another. Yet over time, I have come to the conclusion that the reward of living wholeheartedly with others is totally worth the risk! Living connected to each other in meaningful relationships requires intentionality and commitment.  This is why choosing to belong to a church family is so significant.  It causes us to stick it out with others in a way we wouldn’t have otherwise. Should our Blazing Fire family be the one you want to connect with in order to learn to love others well, please read this description of our Blazing Fire Family Connectionand let us know. http://blazingfire.org/blazing-fire-family-connection (note: this is a new description—different from the Covenant of Belonging we wrote a few months back) If, upon reading the description you choose to embark on this relational adventure with us as part of our family, please let us know by responding to info@blazingfire.org.  Pastor Suzanne is the one who will see your response and pass it along to the elder team. On Saturday, June 13th, the next group of about 25 people will be recognized for their desire to belong to our Blazing Fire family.  Don’t worry—if you’ve wanted to respond, but haven’t done so yet, you haven’t missed the boat!  We will have future Saturday nights when others will do the same.  In other words, there’s a place for you to belong in our family if that’s your desire.  With God’s help, let’s be known for loving each other well!

A Testimony About Deep Peace In The Holy Spirit by Jen Bentley (Pre-School Ministry)

In early December 2014 I wrote this in my journal:

I always assumed that comfort involved feeling better, or not sad anymore....  As I cried over my sweet baby last night, I felt different. (A few years ago Pete and I were heartbroken over our baby girl Juliet after she died in my womb.  I continue to miss her.) I felt safe, cared for, carried, Jesus had me in His arms as I wept and it felt good.

It felt good to cry, to be sad.

In that moment, I knew I was being comforted by my Heavenly Papa and it was OK to be sad, even good to be sad.  For me, comfort doesn’t come from “shutting down” a painful emotion - it is simply a knowing that I am not alone, and therefore, it is OK to be right where I am and feel just what I feel.

A couple weeks later Karena spoke about Growing Pains at Blazing Fire. The next day, as I was thinking about it: God gave me a powerful revelation.  First He reminded me of something:

New Year's eve 2011 was the first time Pete and I attended any Blazing Fire service. Sean Smith spoke and one of the things he said really stuck with me... he said: "two-thirds of the kingdom can be felt... we know that the kingdom of Heaven is righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit." I just loved that.  I never realized this fact and I absolutely loved that I could feel 2/3 of the kingdom (peace and joy)!

God then began showing me what deep peace and joy in the Holy Spirit looks like... this is what I wrote:

True peace comes as a result of struggle, learning, and suffering. All those hard feelings - once felt, faced, and walked through (with Jesus and ever clinging to Him) lead to a deep peace in the Holy Spirit.  A peace that cannot be shaken, cannot be broken because it was born through the process of living life.  More living only increases its depth and richness whether that living is hard or easy.

Joy comes much the same way.  My joy has increased as I have faced pain, fear and suffering.  I have been opening my heart little by little over the last two years.   And in those hard, painful moments I often felt alone even though I knew with my mind that God was there.  Going back to early December 2014 when I felt the safety, the comfort of God for the first time... in that moment, I felt a joy come over me.  All of a sudden, it was so OK to be sad, and right to be sad - and I felt a joy in this confidence!  I think the joy also was an assurance that this too will pass. I believe what I experienced was a deep joy in the Holy Spirit after I bravely opened my heart and just cried before Him.

I thought of Karena’s message about growing pains. (see link below *) It is so hard to face painful things and feel all those yucky feelings.  But, what is born out of facing that pain is so wonderful.  My courage to feel those hard feelings and really allow myself to "feel" as I go through the day is increasing - because I know it will deepen and grow the peace and joy that I have in Holy Spirit.

With that experience of God's comfort, I became more courageous to face emotional pain.  I have found on the other end of walking through the hard things... is ever increasing peace and joy.  It’s not easy, but it's sooooo worth it!
 

(Jen oversees Blazing Fire's Pre-School ministry, "Little Royals")

*Karena's Message: http://blazingfire.podbean.com/e/karina-lout-12-13-14/

Getting Past Our Past by Pastor Susan Fochler

One of the great mysteries of our faith walk is why Scripture does not seem to line up with our daily experience.  If we’ve spent any time at all as a believer in this unbelieving world, we have had to come to grips with this reality.  In my work helping people with inner healing, I am confronted with this issue continuously, in both looking at my own heart as well as seeking to help others.

New Creation???
I LOVE this scripture: “Therefore if any person (that would be all of us) is in Christ, he is a new creation (a new creature altogether): the old (previous moral and spiritual condition) has passed away.  Behold, the fresh and new has come!”  Amp 2 Cor 5:17.

Wow that is a wonderful and hope-filled promise.  Here is the problem: we want that scripture to mean things it doesn't.  So if I’m a new creation, life will be perfect and good and everyone will love me all the time and nothing hard or painful will ever happen to me again.  We certainly hope life will be like that, but it rarely is.

A New Creation that Needs to Mature and Grow
That scripture actually means this;  yes, you are a new creation.  Completely new, never seen before.  That means He put His DNA in you and created you to be 100% His son or daughter, with all the rights and privileges of heaven.  Incredible, brand new potential for fullness of life.  But this DNA is in seed form, and that will require watering, nurturing and care along the way.  We get “stuck” when there are areas of our old man that we don’t give God access to, and they remain encapsulated as the roots of the new man grow in other areas of our heart.

How Do We Let Go?
The areas we typically get stuck in are real, excruciating places, like shame, fear and self-pity.  It just seems so hard to live life without clutching onto these things.  How will I feel safe and cared for without them?  We know, in theory, that we can trust God who is Incarnate Love, but our heart struggles with walking out the implications of full surrender.  Surrender that requires we let go of control.

Facing Our Pain Takes Courage
God is willing to stoop low and come alongside us.  He won’t necessarily agree with our perspective, but His presence will not veer from the Love target He put on your heart the moment you said yes to Him.  Believe it or not, those parts of your heart that feel the darkest, loneliest, and most worthless are the most precious parts of your heart.  It’s scary and hard, but allowing Him just to be with us in our pain is the solution.  His presence carries nurturing power and tender kindness that transcends any measure of agony.

He Can’t Wait to Bless You
I would encourage you to continue to say this blessing over any area of your life where you know you are stuck, and allow the watering of it’s truth to go in deeper and deeper:

The Lord bless you and watch guard, and keep you; the Lord make His face to shine upon and enlighten you and be gracious, kind and merciful to you;  The Lord lift up His approving face upon you and give you peace and life continually.  Num 6:24-7 AMP

To your Papa God and Brother Jesus, you are lovable and irresistible.  All of you.  And knowing that, heals everything.

Looking forward to the Full Revealing of all The Saints (that would be us);

Love,
 

Susan

Trust God by Pastor Brent Lokker

As you probably already know, this past month my family was contending together for my sister Karlin's life and then a week ago (with sadness on our part for the ways we will miss her in this life) celebrate her glorious homecoming with Jesus in heaven. So many of you joined right in with us declaring her healing and we are so very grateful for your loving and faith-filled hearts! This past Saturday at Blazing Fire, Suzanne, myself, and my sister-in-love, Julia, each shared some insights of our journey with God through the process (you can listen to that right here if you’re interested: http://blazingfire.podbean.com/e/loving-well-under-pressure-brent-suzanne-lokker/ )

Life’s trials and crises have a way of bringing to the forefront what is in the depths of our hearts like nothing else can. Our heavenly Papa uses these times to lovingly invite us into greater places of maturity and growth with Him, should we choose to want that.

James 1:2-3 in the Message Bible puts it this way:

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

It’s important to remember as we navigate the complexities of our lives with the Lord that He is intrigued and fascinated with us, not frustrated or irritated with us. And always, He is 100% committed to our success (the way He defines success!).

Being very transparent with you, I want to share a bit of what has surfaced in my heart over the past week or so. I will share it in the form of questions that the Lord posed to me and ask that Holy Spirit brings deeper revelation to you for whatever situations you may be going through in your life at this time.

1. Is your trust placed in Me (God) alone or is it placed in the desired outcome of what you are praying for?

2. Just because you had a desired outcome in mind that didn’t work out that way, does that mean your faith was any less pleasing to Me?

3. Will you allow Me to show you subtle ways you are still, at times, trying to substitute a formula or the right way of doing things in place of a genuine, intimate relationship with me?

4. Can you celebrate with Me the process you are in and the progress of your relationship with Me to this point?

As you ponder these things with the Lord, and anything else He wants to show you, I leave you with this verse:

Why, my soul, are you downcast?

Why so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God,

for I will yet praise him,

my Savior and my God.

Psalm 43:5

With Much Love & Peace in my Heart,
Brent

Trust Without Borders In The Storms Of Life - by Lonnie Ellis

Everyone will experience storms in life. Some are self-inflicted for wrong choices we make. Some come from the enemy of our soul trying to kill steal and destroy. Some are God-created to remove things that keep us from our Kingdom identities and keep us bound within our earthly identities.

Storms may come in many forms; the loss of a job, the loss of a promotion, the loss of a home, the loss of a close friendship, the death of a child, the death of a spouse, the death of a parent, the betrayal of a spouse, the death of a marriage, the death of a dream and much more.

No matter the cause of the storm(s), God wants to meet us in them and WALK WITH US through them, in the midst of all the pain, suffering and loss. He wants to reveal Himself to us in ways our hearts don’t even know are possible.

In the storm(s) we tend to pray to God (and we should), but in the back of our minds - we have predetermined how WE want God to respond and how WE want God to make the outcome look. At times we pray: “God get me out of this storm!” When we do this - it is because we don’t yet grasp the fullness of our identity as God’s son or daughter - seated in heavenly places in Christ Jesus. Instead, we’re living from an earth-bound identity.

“Trust Without Borders” means no matter how tough the storm - we learn to trust that God has the best path and outcome for us and for our lives. He will touch us through our storm(s). Then we begin to look like and represent His son Jesus on this earth from heaven’s perspective (our Kingdom Identity).

He wants to take us from victim to victorious.
He wants to turn our mess into a message.
He wants to take our test and turn it into a testimony. He wants to give us beauty for ashes; we just have to be willing to let go of the ashes.

Trust Without Borders is part of the journey on The Road Less Traveled