Learning To Love Well

Todd and I celebrated our 28th anniversary last Saturday, which was also Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. It’s a time of renewal, reflection and repentance. I decided to spend time with God last week reflecting on areas that I’ve grown and other areas that I’m continually walking out in my life and in my marriage. More and more, Jesus reminds me that His plan for our lives is simply learning to love. (Although it’s not always simple or easy haha!) For so many of us, God has been highlighting areas in our hearts that He wants to heal.  I really appreciate what Graham Cooke says about this, “When God looks at you, He doesn’t see what’s broken. He only sees what’s missing from your relationship with Him and He is totally committed to giving you that encounter.” He wants you to experience Him in every area your heart needs more truth. When there's pressure put o our relationships, it often reveals those "hidden fault lines."It’s the grace and mercy of Jesus to show us those areas before there’s an earthquake in our lives.  I wanted to share a few things God has shown me as I’ve been on the journey of learning to love well. These things often come up with couples when Todd and I do premarital counseling but they also apply in all of our relationships.  * If you search for your “better half” instead of a wholehearted spouse, you will expect that person to fill a void they were never meant (or able) to fill. Only God can do that. We are all at our best when we can fully show up in relationship, not half way or half hearted.  * Laying down your life for someone else isn’t popular in a world where self sufficiency tells us we need it to survive, but it’s the most beautiful way to live.  * The more we value self awareness and take responsibility for areas we need to grow, the less we’ll project our own wounds onto those we’re in relationship with.  * Love is so much more than a good feeling. It’s clinging to what’s true when our changing emotions try to take the driver’s seat.  * Listening to understand those who think and see the world differently than we do, expands our capacity to empathize.  * Marriage (and relationships) can be messy. But God is never put off by our mess. In fact, you’ll find Him right in the middle of it!   “Let the inner movement of your heart always be to love one another, and never play the role of an actor wearing a mask. Despise evil and embrace everything that is good and virtuous. Be devoted to tenderly loving your fellow believers as members of one family. Try to outdo yourselves in respect and honor of one another.” Romans 12:9-10 (TPT) How we view ourselves directly affects how we interact in our relationships so I pray that you would see yourself rightly: Loved, Highly Valued, Whole. We can only love with the love Jesus has given to us first so I also pray you will receive that in all its fullness!                                                                                            Love, Karena