It's been a crazy month. The days seem to fly by faster and faster as the days turn into weeks, which quickly transforms into months. My life is starting to feel like a whirlwind and I'm fighting hard from being swept up in it. I've been using different healthier coping techniques to stay grounded, and I definitely notice the difference as the usual cycle was skipped over, and I've continued to mostly remain leveled. I feel the beating of my heart as I write this. The thoughts try to swirl but I take in a deep breath and let it out. It's amazing how much a moment can make a difference, how one thought released can change it all. I reflect on this past year, and I don't know how I ended up here. How did I come to this moment? I see regrets and triumphs, warnings and success. This isn't where I expected to be, but I feel a sense of relief.
I'm not always good with change. Time is ticking behind every door as I wait to see if it will all explode. Seasons have come and gone, but ahead all I see is twists and turns, each filled with new life and hope, but cautions of misstep. I can't fight for life to remain the same anymore. I realize that I need the change and that power comes in movement. It's weird to be in a state of knowing, but to feel fear creeping in. I don't know what to expect if I move forward. Do I risk letting it all go and turning the corner? There's so much promise in the future, the chance of goals and dreams becoming a reality, but I'm afraid that it could all lead to disappointment. What if I fall backward, no longer able to catch myself? What if I'm not ready to fly?
There's something special in knowing you’re loved. It's what people live for, hope for, die for. I want to love people well. I want to look someone in the eyes, but speak to their spirit the tenderness of love. It breaks my heart to see people who have never felt accepted, never been told they are beautiful. I want to be the one to set them free, but I keep finding it all to be a trap. How do you let someone see reality without being pulled into their world? How do you let people go who want to pull you in instead of stepping out into the light? What if they choose to remain behind the looking glass?
Love is all around. I find it in the peaceful breeze, in the delight of the sun’s rays, in the smile of another's face, the laugh of a baby, the warmth of a hug. The precious moments you have to grasp onto and cherish when all else seems to disappear. There's peace out there if you're just willing to lift your gaze and see the promise that lies ahead. To realize that it's you who holds onto the chains, and that they can't overcome you without your permission. It's about realizing when to let go and to trust the one who sees the truth in it all to take care of the rest.
Our past doesn't have to haunt us. It can become a foothold, a building block of how far you've come and the stepping stone for which you leap from. It's time for new heights. It's time to soar.
No comments:
Post a Comment