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I've been going through a particularly difficult season of my life where disappointments--specifically not seeing people I love healed the way I prayed--caused me to be angry with God. "Why do I have to pray for healing and miracles anymore? Why can't I just say, 'God is good,' and leave it at that?"
Of course, Abba-Papa-Yahweh's pursuing love wouldn't let my well constructed walls keep Him out--not that I really wanted that anyway. Recently a friend said something that rocked me out of my pain and complacency. She said, "Your worship is helping Jesus go to the cross."
It was one of those "God moments" where truth gripped my soul. Suddenly I saw Jesus on the cross with his eyes of love gazing past his dimension of time to see me along with countless numbers of his followers through the ages who were worshipping him.
"We look away from the natural realm and we fasten our gaze onto Jesus who birthed faith within us and who leads us forward into faith's perfection. His example is this: Because his heart was filled with the joy of knowing that you would be his, he endured the agony of the cross and conquered its humiliation, and now sits exalted at the right hand of the throne of God." (Hebrews 12:2 in the Passion Translation)
Who was I to deny my heart to the One who endured the cross for me? God melted my heart and began showing me what I needed to know. He showed me that I was restless because I was fighting myself. In His patience and grace, he showed me that He's calling Himself out of me!
And He's calling Himself out of you!
It's time to take our disappointments and our broken "trusters" back to the One who knows how to victoriously see us through this journey with Him.
It's time to let the authentic you rise up and to let your authentic roar sound!
Suzanne
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