The Devastating Beauty Of The Cross

Surely He has borne our griefs And carried our sorrows; Yet we esteemed Him stricken, Smitten by God, and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed. - ISAIAH 53:4 & 5 -

There was a particular Saturday, a couple years back, when I was not feeling like I would be able to lead worship that night. During the day I was carrying several burdens, struggles and even wrestling with some internal things that I considered to be sinful.  I remember feeling overwhelmed and like I would be a hypocrite and performer if I attempted lead others to adore Jesus that day. My attempt to get out of leading failed.  Not all that long before the service I was crying out to God for help and repenting also.  There was this beautiful moment when God broke in with a clear picture and placed it in my heart and mind.  I saw myself in war trenches, covered in mud and as broken as broken can get.  My thoughts went to what it's like for men who have been in those trenches together.  They hold each other up.  They wildly encourage each other to keep going.  They see each other in the most vulnerable, broken and gritty place possible and still move to protect.  They still have a love for each other that's unique.  They come out of that situation with a bond unmatched by other bonds.  Jesus spoke to me that He was in the trenches with me.  He showed me that He is right there in the grime and agony of the struggle and He wants to walk me into victory....into freedom. Somewhere in this vision I began to see the cross. Jesus likened the devastation of the pain, suffering and intense burden of everyone's sin to being in the trenches with me...with us. I saw how beautiful this sacrifice is, how beautiful such a friendship is, how beautiful such a love is.  And I saw how devastating and absolutely gnarly the same moment is.  The overwhelming beauty of Jesus' acceptance of me right where I was caused my heart to become so so tender that I couldn't wait to worship Him as deep as I could. I felt so honored that He allowed me to take others with me, even on such a day.  We can talk about this every Easter season and always in between, but none of us quite grasp the fulness of what was done for us and how it is a reality right now, even in the muddy, scary trenches.  Bless you all as you reflect on what Jesus took away from you and how He did it...and as you rejoice in the new life that sprang up from the ground!!! Love, Todd