LEAVING & FINDING JESUS - by Jason Clark

“I am ready to leave Jesus,” she said in an almost threatening way. I was talking to a friend over the phone. This was nearly the first thing she said at the beginning of a two-hour conversation in which she railed at God for her broken circumstances, deep sorrows, and vast disappointments. She was in incredible emotional pain, a drowning woman thrashing about for something solid to save her, something good, something she could trust, something better than the seemingly indifferent and controlling God she was so angry with. She was devastated and ready to leave her faith. I listened. I have been in many such conversations over the years. In these moments I’ve learned it’s not my role to fix things, it’s to simply listen with compassion, hope, and love. “Holy Spirit, guide my heart and thoughts with your affection.” I prayed quietly and I waited. In forty-six years of walking with my best friend Jesus, I have plenty of life-changing principles I can pass along; good and wise words. But when someone is drowning in existential crisis, wise words won’t save them, only love revealed can meet this kind of desperation. And I’ve learned love wins, love always saves. Somewhere near an hour and twenty minutes, she came full circle. Like a lawyer who had systematically laid out the evidence that supported her case, she began her closing arguments by repeating her opening thesis. Flailing but exhausted, she stated again, “I am ready to leave Jesus.” There was a pause. Just enough of a pause. “I think you should,” I said. My response wasn’t what she expected and I think it both terrified and further angered her. “What!” desperation tinged her voice. I responded, “The Jesus you have been talking about, he’s killing you, I think you should leave him.” She was quiet for a moment, then, “What are you saying to me?” “The Jesus that reigns down pain and disappointment to teach you something about his love, the behavior obsessed Jesus who uses shame to manipulate you into doing what he wants, the abusive Jesus you have been describing to me for more than an hour, I think you should leave him. Personally, I left that Jesus a long time ago… I left the angry justice Jesus who demands retribution for all my sins, who practices distance and separation until I say ‘sorry.’ The Jesus who releases condemnation every day and twice on Sundays, who gets his glory through some form of eternal conscious suffering, yeah we’re no longer friends. The narcissist Jesus that sits on a throne reveling in my desperate prayers and the insecure worship songs that highlight my need, the controlling Jesus who loves to compare my weakness to his strength, we haven’t hung out in years. The fickle bi-polar moody Jesus who is happy one day and depressed the next, we don’t even text. The Republican or Democrat Jesus, the political Jesus, we wouldn’t even share a cab. I left the unkind, ungenerous, short-tempered, judgmental, punishing Jesus many years ago…” Yeah, I didn’t give my drowning friend such an extensive list of all the Jesus’ I’ve left, but she got it, she knew the truth when she heard it. Why, because God is love and we are His beloved; because God is a Father and we are His kids; because you recognize Truth as you are being set free. The rest of our conversation was spent on discovering, and choosing to believe in, an always good, always restoring, always forgiving, never leaving or forsaking, mercy extending, grace transforming Jesus. I believe we are all on a journey of discovering God; the Triune God that is perfectly revealed through Jesus on a cross reconciling all humanity to Himself not counting our broken thoughts and beliefs about Him against us. The list of Jesus’ I have left, some folks refer to it as deconstruction, or rethinking, or reimagining. Jesus referred to it as repenting. Repent, change the way you think because the Kingdom is within reach, even closer still, it is within you. (See Matt 3:2 & Luke 17:20) Repent, exchange the way you think about God with how God thinks about Himself as revealed through Jesus. Repent, see yourself and your neighbor the way your heavenly Father does. Repent, He is better than you think, so keep awaking to better thoughts. I continue to leave my ego-driven Jesus. I continue to leave the Jesus made in the image and likeness of my broken experiences or some preachers fear; the prescribed Jesus of a rebellious fallen mindset. And the more I repent the more clearly I recognize the good news, the gospel; God is love and Jesus never leaves. Nothing separates me from His love, His great affection, peace, joy, hope, righteousness, forgiveness, grace (see Rom 8). God is love, so every time I leave my ego-driven, fear-based, shame focused Jesus, I discover more fully a transforming intimacy with the Jesus that never leaves…

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A FATHER WHO WON'T LET YOU EARN HIS LOVE - by Brent Lokker

Love is a gift given, never a reward for good behavior. If you were shown otherwise by your parents or others in life, who perhaps meant well but demonstrated love with strings attached, you already began walking along a path of striving for acceptance, approval, affection and belonging. It’s a path worn by heartbreak that leads to futility and frustration, sapping your joy with the never-enough syndrome.   The laws (commands) God gave to Moses were given to a people who had already convinced themselves God was a hard-to-please, distant deity who only loved with strings attached based on good behavior, causing them to fear the Lover of their souls. They didn’t know their tender-hearted Creator who desired for his children to encounter closeness and intimate connection with him. The Law wasn’t God’s choice, it was theirs by default because they believed a lie of distance and disapproval. Therefore, the Law became a sad reality for a long season of Israel’s existence. It was the gift of a Father who knew that once his children chose hiddenness, shame and fear, they would need some guardrails to protect them from utterly destroying their own lives through their wayward, independent choices.   Jesus came to draw us back into the awareness of our union with a safe and caring Father by including us in his death (dying to the distortion and lies of a distant Father) and in his resurrection (being brought to new life in our awareness of our union with the Trinity). This was all the Trinity’s choice and doing—their gift to bring genuine love back into the equation for all.   Jesus told us this inheritance of love, acceptance, approval and belonging was easy to receive. All we must do is be like a little child who simply runs into the awaiting arms of their Father. This, said Jesus, is what it means to enter into the Kingdom of heaven—the realm where blissful union with Father, Jesus and Holy Spirit is our continual reality.   When Jesus met an extremely rich young Jewish man who had walked along that well-worn path of striving in his well-intentioned attempts to perfectly adhere to the Law, he had deep compassion. In this man’s yearning for something more satisfying in his life, he approached Jesus, yet only knew how to ask a question familiar to the path he had been traveling on his entire life: “Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” While it may seem to us that Jesus could have simply told him to get off that path of ‘never-enough’ that was killing him, Jesus knows the depths of each heart and knew this man still had to walk that path a bit more to get to the end of his striving that had created a false independent self. Sometimes in his deep love for us, our Lord will allow us to exhaust ourselves to eventually become like a child, falling limp into his compassionate arms, done with the attempts to be good and finally allowing his precious life to flow through us.   This is why Jesus’ response to this man’s question was to sell everything he had and give it to the poor. Not because this was the magic formula allowing him to inherit eternal life, which is a gift given, but instead to bring him to the end of what he thought he could do for God to make himself right so he could enter into all that God had already included him in.   We don’t know the end of this man’s story, but this certainly wasn’t the end of God’s involvement in his life. Jesus said, “When I am lifted up (on the cross), I will draw all of humanity and every definition of judgement unto me.” (John 12:32, Mirror). This man was included in Jesus’ inexhaustible pursuit of all he included in his death and resurrection.   Jesus’ followers were convinced after this interaction with a rich, young ruler that no one could be saved (completely misunderstanding how Jesus, in his love for this man, was helping him). Jesus said, “With humans (in our own independent ways) this is impossible, but with God all things are possible!” (Matthew 19:26)   Let’s continue to enter into our inheritance of acceptance, approval and belonging, like little children who know they are loved. In this way, we get to enjoy the embrace of our tender Father with no strings attached!

HOW DO WE DECIDE IF HE'S GOOD? - by Karena Lout

by Karena Lout “For the Lord is always good and ready to receive you. He’s so loving that it will amaze you- so kind that it will astound you!” Psalm 100:5 (TPT)    I’ve noticed that sometimes I struggle to truly enjoy the good things happening around me because there are also difficulties looming to get my attention. Life is often a mix of both good and hard things that co-exist. We can easily gather enough evidence to prove that God is good while simultaneously looking at challenges we’re facing and tragedies in the world to try to prove that he’s not. This tension is a good place to invite Jesus into because it’s there that he wants to meet us.   So much of the time we want to define our circumstances as “good or bad.” When enough time has passed, I can look back on those “bad” times in my life with thankfulness and a new perspective. I can see growth, the way Jesus held me, wiped my tears and revealed a part of his nature I wouldn’t have known otherwise. I discovered who he was as my provider when I didn’t have a place to live. I experienced him as my comforter when I lost someone. I knew him as healer when I was sick. That’s not to diminish the struggle and pain we experience. It’s an invitation to see Jesus in it with us. “Jesus is the radiant and flawless expression of the person and intent of God. He mirrors God’s character and exhibits his every attribute in human form.” Hebrews 1:3 (Mirror)   Thankfully our circumstances don’t define us and they don’t determine whether God is good or not. God’s goodness exists because it’s who he is. Jesus built his case when he went to the cross for us. His blood is the proof. His resurrection points to a greater reality than our bad days. Our belief about his nature may get shaken but it doesn’t change who he is. That is good news. As you celebrate life’s victories, while also working through the losses that come, I pray you would experience his enduring, unchanging love through it all.   Love, Karena

THE OIL OF INIMACY - by Tiffany James

In this honest and transparent account of Tiffany’s own journey, you will discover a bit more of your own story and be invited away from striving and contending into sweet, genuine intimacy.  You can watch / listen to Tiffany's entire message here @ 1:22:25

When the Lover of my soul first called out to me, nothing else mattered being that for the first time in my life someone saw all of me and yet still chose me—a truth I would later learn is the epitome of true intimacy. So, I left my past behind to become His bride. Yes, I was His bride, and He was my one true prize. However, there were those who would contest, failing to forever hold their peace, questioning whether I was worthy of the honor of being the bride to the King of Kings. I was rejected, overlooked, and underestimated, but it didn’t matter because the eyes of my heart were fixated on the Lover of my soul, reminding me that our Father in heaven never doubts what He has ordained and created. However, like Ruth, I eventually felt like I had to fight to defend my truth. In doing so, I took myself out of the Potter’s hand and chose to put myself on the potter's wheel instead. This meant I was more driven by my call, my gifts, talents, and the expectations of man. I became so busy, consumed with everything—including ministry—that I didn’t realize the enemy was using it as a funnel to drain the oil of our intimacy, dimming the light He placed within me. My Lover's voice started to fade, and I struggled once again to capture His gaze, unable to discern what He was calling me to do. I became double-minded, blinded by loss, betrayed by disappointment, riddled with pain, and wrestling with the spirit of intimidation, causing me to look to man for validation. I was stifled by confusion, and for the first time in my life I found myself fretting with fear of the future. I had started off running a virtuous race, for God had leveled every mountain and made every crooked path in my life straight. But I was distracted on this journey of faith which had been paved by His grace. It wasn’t because I no longer sought His face, but because something I once possessed was lost along the way. I searched and continued to strive in my works, seeking what was missing. As I looked around, I became grieved because even in the church, what was lost could not be found. Not to criticize, but if we are honest, we might recognize that Jesus Christ, the Lover of our souls, is no longer the prize. Rather our dreams, visions, status, and agendas are now what is being prioritized. For there is a way that seems right to a man when he or she becomes wise in their own eyes. Then we wonder why there is no rest for the flesh, for it is never satisfied. I grew weary of winning outward battles that testified before man while losing the internal war that was draining my soul. It is said that when you come to the end of yourself, you come to the beginning of God. I had come to the end of myself. I had to admit to myself that I had done many things well, but my Lover had one charge against me, and He was grieved. I had lost my intimacy. I had forgotten my first love—my best friend—the One who, when everyone else doubted me, still chose me. The One who called me when no one knew my name. I had to go back to where it all began, back to the secret place. I shut myself in, fell on my knees, and cried out in complete humility, craving once again to get back to the rhythm of His heartbeat. I wept and poured my heart out like an endless river before the Lord. I cried out, "Do not turn Your face from me; cast me not from Your presence or take Your Holy Spirit from me." It was in that moment that I felt His arms wrap around me, covering like blooms of morning glories, and I was drawn into an indescribable intimacy. I could feel His banner of love over me, and once again, I witnessed my Savior's true beauty. God said, "If My bride will humble herself and draw near to Me, I, the Lord your God, will restore in you the oil of intimacy." The oil sets you apart. The oil speaks. The oil heals, and the oil sets free. The oil stirs, and the oil allows you to come boldly before Me. The teaching anointing is in the oil. Did you know you can’t prophecy of Me without the oil of intimacy. You can’t evangelize without the oil. You can’t pastor My sheep without the oil of intimacy. The apostolic anointing is in the oil. Love is poured endlessly within My oil. My authority stands sound in the oil. Joy and peace flow like a river in the oil. Patience rests in the oil. Kindness and goodness are hidden gems in the oil. Faithfulness is like a sweet fragrance in the oil. Gentleness and self-control are in the oil. Lay down your crowns. Reflect and return to the Lord. Reconnect with His heartbeat and take up His sword, which is His Word, steeped in His love, drawing us back into intimacy. The Lord says, "Let Me anoint you once again with the oil of intimacy, for in Me, the oil will never cease."

THINGS JESUS DIDN'T SAY

“For God was so disgusted with the world and you that he gave his one and only Son.” “I have come to bring you a new religion.” “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have correct theology.” “If anyone would come after me, let him disparage all other religions and their followers.” “If you love me, you will regularly attend a church of your choice… within reason.” “Blessed are the tithers for they shall be called the children of God.” “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done in Heaven after the earth goes up in flames and destroyed.” “You have heard it said, ‘Love your neighbor,’ which means the people with whom you attend church and relate to in your Christian sub-culture.” “In my Father’s house there are a limited number of rooms. But no worries, there is plenty of room in Hell.” “The kingdom of God has come!… Well, not exactly. I mean, not completely. Let’s face it, the really-real kingdom comes after we die. Hang in there. It won’t be long.” “And you will know the truth and the truth will make you superior to all the other simpletons who never learned Greek or Hebrew.” “You are the light of the world…. in a sinful-filthy-scum kind of way.” “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you a checklist of things to do and not do in order to remain in God’s favor.” “For God so loved the world… you know like theoretically… as in, God loves the world mostly. But when it come to you specifically, there are quite a few things that would need to change for God to actually and love… or even like… YOU.”   Thank God that Jesus would never ever say such things as these. Rather, He came to give us life and life abundantly. He came to display the heart of a perfect Father. He came to save us, not to condemn us. He IS love!

REMEMBER ME - by Elijah Breon

It is easy to forget how much I can rely on God. Life comes at me from all angles, and over the days I end up carrying the heaviness. But, at some point, I hear him say, “Remember me?” “Yes!” I always reply in my heart. Of course I remember you. So I stop and listen a while.  “I have so much more for you than worry. Don’t let the season wear on your memory. I have taken you places you never knew you’d be. Remember that you gave me your future? I have walked with you every day of that path. I have met you in the very difficult days and I’ve always opened up doors that you couldn’t see. You don’t have to have it all figured out. You can rely on me that can be your mind’s focus. When you are trying to calculate and weigh options and possibilities, remember me. I have Grace for you.” We don’t walk this life alone. We have a Father who is mighty and immensely interested in our lives. “Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass.” Psalms 37:4-5 NKJV

IN US, THROUGH US AND AS US: MOVING AS ONE IN THE IMAGE AND LIKENESS OF THE TRINITY - by Joel Pollard

2 Corinthians 4:6-7 in the Mirror declares, “The light source is founded in the same God who said, “Light, be!” And light shone out of darkness! He lit the lamp in our understanding so that we may clearly recognize the features of his likeness in the face of Jesus Christ reflected within us. And now, in the glow of this glorious light and with unveiled faces, we discover this treasure where it was hidden all along, in these frail skin-suits made of clay. We did not invent ourselves; we are God’s idea to begin with and the dynamic of his doing and amazing engineering!” It is not God in us, it is God as us. It’s not Jesus in us, it’s Jesus as us, for we are joint heirs in Christ. What does a move of God actually look like? I believe that the body of Christ has been looking externally for the answer so long to this question instead of internally. We’ve been looking “out there for the next move of God” when the move has been in us all along. When see God externally, it creates a sense of separation and alienation from Him. The good news of the Gospel is we don’t just have love, we are the very love of God, for there is no separation in Him, for we are one with God. He’s not working through us, He’s working as us for we ARE the very expressed image and likeness of Jesus! We’re the object of His greatest affection - we are the pearl of great price. We have been invited into this great adventure with the Trinity. We died with Christ, and because our life is now His life, this means that we’ve literally been given Jesus’ relationship with the Father (Col. 3:1-4). This is a place where we enter pure grace and rest; we already are because he is; as he is, we are already. When we already know who we are, it stops us from thinking who we are. It’s important that we don’t confuse behavior and identity - they are not the same thing. In the words of one my friends, Dr. Matt Pandel, “Mankind’s original sin is a propensity (a behavior pattern, not an identity or state of existence) to strive for what one already possesses. Our behavior often expresses what we believe about our identity. We “act” according to our beliefs about ourselves and who we think God is.” Faulty beliefs bear the fruit of faulty behaviors. For example, some of us may have experienced trauma in our past and the behavior from that has created a pattern that is not in who we inherently are. Trauma makes you who you aren’t but healing allows you to be the person you were always meant to be. My prayer is that as we awaken to the reality of who we really are in the Father, Son and Spirit, who we’ve been all along from when we were created before the foundation of the world, that we would come to further experience and encounter the reality that we are One with the Trinity, as They continue to move in us, through us and as us.  With Love, Joel